


Her Eyes Were Green...

by MsYukari



Series: Memories From Before [7]
Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst, Blood Drinking, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt, Eventual Smut, F/F, Feelings, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by True Blood (TV), Jealousy, Lesbian Vampires, Memories From Before Sequel, Memories From Before series, Mixed vampire mythology, True Blood References, Vampire Bites, Vampire Sex, Vampires, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2019-11-02 02:49:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17879669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsYukari/pseuds/MsYukari
Summary: Not all marriages are perfect, especially not one between Joan Ferguson and Vera Bennett...This is part of my Memories From Before series. It's definitely recommended that you read any previous stories before this one. It will take place a few years after Always With You.





	1. Chapter 1

Vera wanted to slap Joan. She wanted to teach her that she was not owned by her. Yes, she was her Maker but she was not Joan's property. She could feel that Joan was angry and it was petty, really. The jealousy that she displayed over a young colleague that was flirting with her. Of course, Vera had watched others also flirt with Joan, and that made her jealous but she had learned that many would flirt with her wife.

“I can go to dinner with her if I want to!” Vera yelled, staring up at Joan who glared at her.

Joan grit her teeth, breathing in deeply as she crossed her arms. “I don't want you to do this. What if she makes a pass at you?”

“Oh, my god, she won't. She's just a friend at the university. Don't you trust me?”

“I trust you... it's others I don't trust,” Joan murmured, making Vera want to tear her hair out.

“That's kind of a bullshit line for saying you don't exactly trust me.”

“I do. Don't put words into my mouth, Vera! As your Maker I will not stand for--”

“What did you just say? 'As your Maker'? I thought you were my wife first and my Maker second. If this is what this means, then I--”

She stopped, taking a few deep breaths. She couldn't bring herself to say the words.

“Then what?” Joan asked sharply.

Her wife's tone snapped her back to reality. “Joan, I'm your wife. I'm not a slave to you just because you're my Maker.”

“Well, as your wife, I forbid you going out to dinner with her.”

“You what? You _forbid_?!”

“Yes, I forbid it,” Joan repeated stubbornly.

Vera had dealt with a lot while being married to Joan for so many years. The fierce love and protection she showed her. The worry and fear for her, and at times the almost childish behavior that her wife exhibited. It was odd considering Joan was older than her, but she also knew that Joan still responded in these ways when she was very scared.

Except this time, Vera wasn't going to continue taking this treatment from her. As much as she loved her, she couldn't allow Joan to be this possessive. She had never been like this before, not even when she first dated Fletch so many years ago. She had no idea why her wife was feeling so insecure and threatened, but it may have been because they hadn't been getting along as well recently.

So many years of being together was wonderful, and she wouldn't ever go back and change it, but that didn't mean there weren't difficult times. Sometimes, very rough actually. She and Joan were both very different personalities, and they both continued to grow as time went on, and even Vera was sometimes afraid they were growing apart.

Was that even possible when one was bonded with another? Or would you forever have this lovesick feeling? She loved her so much, but sometimes she wondered if it was enough during these moments.

Joan looked hurt, and Vera knew that she could feel her feelings, and she felt ashamed that she still wasn't so adept at hiding how she felt like Joan could.

“Vera, I know things haven't been easy lately, but I just worry that--”

“Joan, if you worry that much then maybe you should release me,” Vera blurted.

Joan stared at her, looking troubled, and Vera had never seen her look more hurt than right then. Her breath caught, and she bit her lip.

“Please think about this before you make such a life altering decision, darling.”

She could hear the hurt in her voice, and it was overwhelming her thoughts as she felt her emotions. She didn't exactly mean to blurt that out, but it had been on her mind in the last year. Joan could be very controlling, and this was one of the ways she was through being her Maker.

“You said that I'd always have a choice, and that you'd never order me to do anything that wouldn't harm me. This isn't that, Joan. This is wrong, and you know it. You're letting fear and jealousy get the best of you, and I don't understand why.”

Joan's lip twitched. “If you still feel this way tomorrow, then I will do as you say and release you.”

“Joan, I didn't--”

“No, if you said that to me just now, it must mean you've been thinking about it. Which means that I've been doing something wrong.”

Vera watched as Joan crossed her arms tightly, suddenly turning away from her. “It was wrong of me to forbid you from having dinner with a friend. Perhaps I'm being too paranoid. In the meantime, maybe it would be best if we stayed in different beds tonight.”

They'd had many arguments in the time she'd been with Joan, but she never ever suggested they sleep in separate beds. Tears stung her eyes when she knew just how hurt Joan was. Vera was hurt too, and for the first time in a very long time, she felt not just an emotional distance from her wife, but a physical one as well.

“Joan, please we don't have to do that...”

“Goodnight, Vera. I'll see you in the morning.” And Vera watched sadly as Joan walked away without even looking at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to get in a little writing when the muse was going for me with this idea. I didn't think I'd write for the Memories From Before series again, but I wanted to try this idea out for a short little story. I hope people enjoy it so far!
> 
> Feel free to follow/message me on twitter as @MsYukari or on tumblr as msyukari. :)


	2. Chapter 2

Joan never thought it would come to this. She couldn't believe that Vera would ever want to be released from her. It made her feel like she hadn't been a good Maker to her, or worse... not a good wife. Hadn't she always taken care of Vera? Hadn't she always been there for her?

_Have I been too suffocating? Have I not given Vera the freedom she needs?_

She felt the infinity necklace around her neck, sliding her finger across it and slowly took it off. She remembered when Vera first gave her this gift, sealing her decision to be a vampire with her forever. Why did this feel like Vera was leaving her? That's not what she's doing... she's just unsure about if she still wants to be forever tied to her as her Maker.

_But she is my responsibility. I brought her into this world. I've done everything I could to guide her and keep her safe. Does this mean I've failed as a Maker? I would be so lost without Aaron even after all this time._

“ _ **What's wrong, Joan?”**_

Aaron's voice filtered through her mind, and she smiled faintly. _**“You always know how to reach me when I'm upset. Why is that?”**_

“ _ **I've been with you a long time. Should we meet at the usual place?”**_

“ _ **Yes.”**_

She didn't want Vera to know she left the house, so she quietly opened their bedroom window and slipped out. It was cold during the winter months, but she felt invigorated by it. As she ran through the night, she breathed deeply. She could have easily taken her car, but there was something very freeing about running.

She slowed down until she reached a little cafe. Aaron usually liked the quiet solitude of the cafe that played smooth jazz or classical. She often found him reading a book in there or sipping on a cappuccino or latte with Vincent. He held one already and handed her a black coffee.

“Don't you miss drinking cappuccinos? The extra foamy and milky taste?”

“Sometimes... but I prefer a stronger taste if I'm to have coffee,” she said as she poured a splash of cream into hers.

“Still can't drink it entirely black can you?”

Joan sighed. “I actually would have preferred a hot chocolate tonight.”

“That bad, huh?”

Joan grimaced and nodded as they sat down. “I have a little problem.”

Aaron quickly poured out her coffee. “What are you doing?!”

He ignored her and she watched as he was talking to the barista at the counter. He returned with a smaller cup and handed it to her. She could smell the chocolate aroma and held back a smile as she picked it up and held it to her lips.

“You know that you entirely wasted that cup of coffee.”

“Yes, but you need something to cheer you up and it's not very often that you'll admit to wanting a treat like that... so I know that whatever is going on, is really upsetting you.”

She took another sip of her hot chocolate, staring down into it before she lifted her eyes to his. “Vera and I haven't always been getting along as well lately.”

He sighed and nodded. “It happens when you've been together for so many years.”

“I feel disconnected from her in many ways, and I'm afraid I'm losing her.”

“Relationships aren't perfect, Joan. You still love her, don't you?”

“Of course I do! I just—I just don't know what's going on between us. She's pulled away from me many times, physically and also emotionally. Then other times it's like it used to be between us. I'm afraid that there could be someone else.”

He raised his brow. “Someone else? But as her bonded mate, it would never make sense for that to happen.”

“You're sure? What if that bond can be severed and we just haven't experienced it yet?”

Aaron didn't say anything for a few seconds, but appeared deep in thought.

“Am I correct? Can this happen?” She asked anxiously.

Aaron twisted his lips. “Not for certain. There have been rumors that it could happen, but I never believed them. If so, they're very rare but I don't think it can happen. Obviously you're still emotionally and mentally connected.”

Joan swallowed convulsively. “What if...”

“What if what?”

She was quiet for a few seconds before she spoke. “What if that's only because I'm her Maker?”

Aaron sucked in a breath. “I've never thought about that. I—I don't know what to tell you, Joan. This is something that I don't have the answers for. And you could very well be worrying about something that isn't there. You do have a tendency to do that, you know.”

She nodded. “Yes, I know, but I can just feel that something's not right and I don't know of any other way to explain it. It... you know she's been seeing this friend at the university and they've become rather close.”

“And you're jealous.”

“Yes, I'm jealous. I can't help it and then I did something stupid tonight.”

“And what was that?” He asked, frowning.

“I forbade her from having dinner with this friend.”

He shook his head. “Oh, Joan... Joan, Joan, Joan. You've always been controlling, and as her Maker it's probably even more so at times, correct?”

“Yes... what's your point?” She asked irritatingly.

“My point is, maybe she's just wanting some space. We all need friends, Joan. And you and Vera have an entirely different relationship as Maker and progeny. You're her wife so she can't always go to you in the same way you would with me.”

“I've failed then. I've failed her in this life,” she said, feeling completely defeated.

“No! No you haven't! This doesn't mean you've failed, it just means that it might be a little bit more difficult at this stage in your relationship right now.”

“She... she might want to be released. I wouldn't be her Maker anymore if she requested that, and as much as it pains me to do, I think she might want it.”

He took her hand into his. “I'm sorry, Joan. I really am. I know how hurtful it is when a progeny wants to be released, or when you have to be the one to release them on your own. It's a bond that is like no other. But you'd still have that bond with her since you're soul mates, do you understand?”

“But what if that bond is only there because of our blood? Because I made her into a vampire?”

“I don't believe that's what's going on. I think there's more to it than that.”

“She said if I was so worried about everything then I should just release her.”

Her lip trembled and he squeezed her hand, rising up and kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes, trying not to cry as he brushed her cheek with his hand. “My dear Joan. Talk to Vera and see what's going on before you jump to conclusions. Sometimes things are said in the heat of the moment and perhaps she didn't really mean what she said. I'm sure that's all it was.”

“Yes, that's true. Sometimes we've said some things we don't always mean,” she said quietly.

He smiled gently at her. “Come take a walk with me. The beach isn't too far away from here. Does Vera know you're out?”

“No, she doesn't. We, uh, we're sleeping separately tonight.”

“Ouch. Let's go to the beach then, but you must return to her tonight so she doesn't worry about you. Despite whatever is going on, I _know_ she still loves you. Can't you feel her feelings right now?”

“I can, but I'm confused if that's still real. What if it's just because I'm her Maker?”

“That's something you'll have to ask her. Ask her to be honest with you.”

She frowned as they stepped onto the sand, looking out at the calming ocean waves. She closed her eyes, feeling the sadness that Vera felt right now... and the love that was still there despite her anger.

 _Is Aaron right? Is it just that I'm worrying too much? I hope so because I can't lose Vera... not so soon after I lost Shayne._  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed that! It's been fun for me to write and return a bit to this world of vampire Joan and Vera. :)
> 
> If you'd like to listen to the music I listened to while writing, I listened to over an hour long of music by Max Richter called Sleep II. It's considered meditation music and it was very beautiful and relaxing to listen to if you're interested. Here is the link for it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lbq1GSFyUGI


	3. Chapter 3

It was early morning and still quiet as she returned home. The sun was just starting to come up and she could hear the birds chirping outside.  
  
She peered into the living room expecting to see Vera but she wasn’t there. Normally when they had an argument, Vera would stay up waiting for her. But then Joan remembered that she’d left their house without Vera’s knowledge.  
  
A feeling of sadness overwhelmed her, and she knew it wasn’t just her own emotions she felt. She hung her head as she heard soft crying.  
  
Walking upstairs, she stood outside their guest room door, lifting her hand and suddenly feeling self conscious about doing so. She wasn’t sure why since this was her wife. She drew in a deep breath, and softly knocked on the door.  
  
There was silence for a few seconds and she didn’t like feeling shut off from Vera.  
  
The door opened, and Joan’s heart broke at seeing Vera’s puffy and bloodshot eyes. Joan swallowed down her own emotion in order to do what Vera needed the most, whether she liked it or not.  
  
“Are you all right?” Joan asked softly.  
  
Vera shook her head, and she took Joan’s hands and pulled her into the room. Joan trembled slightly at the warm touch, and sat down next to Vera on the bed. They didn’t speak for a while, and just continued to hold hands. Vera stroked her hand with her thumb, and Joan looked into her eyes.  
  
“My love, I will support whatever decision you make in your life. You’re not my slave, and should you choose to be released, that would be difficult for me to get used to but you’re still my wife.”  
  
Vera squeezed hand. “Yes, you are. And we made vows and promises to each other.”  
  
Joan closed her eyes as Vera leaned over and kissed her forehead, then her cheeks and mouth. Joan took in a shuddering breath, and stroked her cheek while she looked into her beautiful blue eyes.  
  
“I know that I’ve not been easy to live with since Shayne’s death. I’m learning that grief comes in so many forms. And just when I think I’m doing okay, it all hits me as if it were yesterday. I’ve been trying to hide it because I don’t want you to ever think that it’s your fault.”  
  
Vera hugged her. “We never renewed our vows like we said we would, and I thought that maybe it was just being too busy. But overtime, you just seemed so easily irritated and I didn’t know why.”  
  
Joan nodded, feeling ashamed that she took things out on Vera.  
  
“And then that hate crime happened.”  
  
Joan wanted to forget that memory. She had returned home when she sensed intense fear from Vera one night. Hateful, derogatory terms were written on the walls of their house. Windows were broken, and a terrified and crying Vera had been chained down to the chair in silver, and Joan quickly took it off so it didn’t continue to burn more of her skin.  
  
_“Did they hurt you? Touch you?” Joan snarled._  
_  
__“No, just the silver. They said they didn’t want to touch living dead parasites,” she whispered, her throat hurting from crying so much._

_“They will never hurt you again, I promise.”_

She’d taken Vera into her arms and held her that night. It was sometime after that, she had tracked and hunted down the humans that attacked them. She still remembered their screams as she killed them, making them suffer for even daring to come near them and hurt her wife. She hadn’t felt like that in a long time, the need to hurt others for their actions. But this... this was justifiable.  
  
“I never thought hate like that would exist anymore,” Vera whispered.  
  
Joan wrapped her arms around her. “Unfortunately, it does. They don’t understand vampires, Vera. They don’t understand you and I. I’m so sorry that happened to you, and I just wish I had gotten there sooner.”  
  
“It’s not your fault,” Vera said, turning her face towards hers. “Is that why you became distant? Because of Shayne and then what those humans did?”  
  
“Maybe... I don’t know,” Joan said quietly. “You’re so strong and I know you can defend yourself easily, but the thought of what could have happened that night...”  
  
“I know, it makes me scared too. And I was worried that maybe you thought I was too... too...” Vera trailed off, and Joan lifted her chin.  
  
“You were worried I’d think you were too what?”  
  
“Too weak,” Vera whispered.  
  
Joan stroked her hair, her hand moving to caress her cheek. “Why would I think you’re too weak?”  
  
“Because I couldn’t fight back.”  
  
“Vera, they threw a chained net of silver on you. Of course you couldn’t fight back. Don’t blame yourself for that. I never thought you were weak. I thought you needed space after that, and I guess I was wrong.”  
  
“No, I did need some space, but then I just began distancing myself from you.”  
  
A tear rolled down Joan’s cheek. “Why?”  
  
Vera shook her head. “I don’t know why. I love you, please don’t ever doubt that. I just—maybe I became distant for the same reason you were distant and irritable because of Shayne.”  
  
Joan held her close. “I love you too, so very much. And I’m sorry that I’ve been distant, and I’m sorry that you suffered. That I wasn’t there for you. I wish you had told me how you were really feeling.”  
  
“Couldn’t you feel it?”  
  
“I didn’t. Perhaps you’re getting better at turning off your emotions to me more than you think,” Joan said quietly.  
  
Vera didn’t say anything and Joan finally had to ask her what she really wanted. “As much as it would pain me to do, if you want to be released, I’ll do it. I don’t want you to resent me for it.”  
  
“I don’t resent you... well, sometimes I get angry but I love you. I just...”  
  
Joan held back her tears. “You don’t want me to have dominion over you in that way.”  
  
Vera reached up to wipe the tears that escaped from her eyes. “You know that you as my Maker means more than that.”  
  
Joan knew it, but sometimes that didn’t matter to a progeny. She suddenly needed to know one thing. Something that she didn’t remember ever asking before. Did being her Maker matter to Vera?   
  
“What does it mean to you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a bit of a heavy chapter for me to write. I hope it was enjoyable since I’d been asked to finally do more of a Joan and Vera chapter lol. 
> 
> I listened to some music to help me with this chapter since the content was pretty emotional. If you’d like to listen, here are the links to the music. :)
> 
> Relaxing Piano Music: https://youtu.be/L5vMKOx17cY
> 
> Nightsky by Tracey Chattaway: https://youtu.be/8DSeZji2x-Y
> 
> A mix of emotional piano and violin music: https://youtu.be/Gb-fQ_9UUMo


	4. Chapter 4

Vera could feel sadness and confusion from Joan, looking into her eyes as she asked her what it meant to have Joan as her Maker. She never meant to say what she said, even if she sometimes thought about it. She teared up, remembering the look in her eyes tonight when she said she wanted them to sleep in separate beds.

“You’re afraid, Joan. Why are you afraid?”

Joan shook her head, her breath hitching. “Please don’t let how I feel influence what you want to do.”

She cupped her cheek as Joan looked down, refusing to meet her eyes. This wasn’t like Joan. She was acting as if Vera was going to hurt her… as if she was going to kick her when she was down.

_But that’s exactly what I did when I said she should release me._

Through Joan’s sadness and patience, she also felt rejection, and this made Vera’s heart hurt.

_She thinks I’m going to reject her. What have I done?_

“Oh, Joan, it means everything that you're my Maker. If you hadn't been, I wouldn't be with you like I am now. I become frustrated but I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to turn me. There's a possibility Aaron could have, but it would have never felt right.”

Joan stared at her and nodded her head. “And do you still want me to be?” She asked.

“Despite all the frustration I feel at times, I don't want to lose that connection with you. It'll always serve as a reminder of how much we love each other when I decided to be with you forever,” Vera said as she caressed her cheek.

“I almost lost you that night when I tried to turn you. I was so afraid I made a mistake. And I was so happy that you woke up. I couldn't bear it if you felt I wasn't right to be your Maker anymore. As much as I try to be understanding, I'm not. I never want you to go,” she gasped.

Vera wrapped her arms around her, holding her head against her chest. Joan sighed and wrapped her arms around her waist. “I think you're more understanding than you realize. You were willing to release me if I wanted it. You were even willing to love me as a human if I hadn't become a vampire. You've always been so patient.”

Joan could feel Vera's heart beating, and she closed her eyes at the sound. “I'm sorry for being so selfish.”

“We can both be selfish at times, so don't take all the blame. We just stopped communicating with each other. It's something we have to always work on, Joan.”

Joan lifted her head. “So you still want to?”

Vera wasn't sure what Joan was getting at. “What are you asking?”

“You still want to work on things together?”

Vera felt the fear and insecurity from Joan and she suddenly realized what she was so afraid of. “Of course I do. I love you and there is no one else for me, and there never will be,” she said, kissing her tenderly.

“Are you sure?” Joan asked, and Vera pushed her back onto the bed.

“I'm sure,” she whispered, leaning down to kiss her passionately.

Vera felt Joan relax and smiled into their kiss, and Vera straddled her as she kissed along her neck.

“You're just as much mine as I am yours,” Vera murmured. Joan moaned softly into her ear, rising up to take off their tops. She traced Vera's breasts with her fingertips, and placed soft kisses on her neck. She closed her eyes at the warmth of her skin. Joan cupped the back of Vera’s head and pulled her close.

Vera sighed, loving the feeling of Joan’s breasts pressed against hers. Vera took Joan’s hand and kissed it, turning it over to kiss the inside of her palm. Vera stared into her eyes, her fangs clicking out.

“We’ll always be together,” she whispered, kissing her palm again and the inside of her wrist. Joan hissed as Vera bit into her palm, drinking her blood. Joan knew then that there was nothing to worry about. Memories flooded her mind of their wedding day, and she knew that Vera was thinking about it too. She could feel all the love and desire she felt, the warmth and devotion towards her. She took Vera’s hand and kissed it, her fangs sinking inside her palm and sucking hard.

Vera retracted her fangs and kissed along her wrist, feeling Joan’s emotions joining hers. How either of them could have doubted their love for each other was something she wasn’t sure she’d be able to understand.

She kissed Joan again, deeply this time and felt the edge of her fangs against her lips. Joan smirked and retracted them as she cupped her face, kissing her again.

“You feel that?” Vera asked, kissing passionately. “We’re bonded together and we were long before I became a vampire.”

“How is it you know exactly what to say?”

“Because I know you, and I feel how you feel.”

Stroking her dark hair, Vera’s hand slowly traveled down her trembling stomach, smiling at the sharp intake of breath when her fingers gently stroked along her wet lips.

“I definitely feel that,” Vera whispered hotly, gently biting Joan’s lip as she kissed her. “How wet you are,” she teased, sliding her fingers up and down and circling her clit.

Joan breathed heavily, her eyes darkening with arousal while she lifted her hips. Vera straddled her thigh and slowly and steadily rocked against her. She slid her fingers inside, curling them and kissing Joan’s neck.

“I need you,” Joan rasped.

“I know,” Vera whispered as she sank her fangs into her neck. Joan moaned, rocking her hips faster as Vera pumped her fingers.

**_“I need you too.”_ **

**_“Vera…”_ **

As she circled Joan’s clit, she sucked her blood, moaning at the taste before she lifted her head and stared down at her. Joan shivered, spreading her legs wider as she took Vera’s hand and pressed her deeper inside.

“Joan?”

“Please… I need to feel you inside me like this.”

Vera nodded, using three fingers now as she watched Joan. She was arching her back and squeezing her fingers, and Vera stroked her clit with her thumb.

Joan gazed up at her, reaching up to squeeze her breasts. Vera moaned softly, grinding against her thigh.

“Come for me,” she whispered, circling her clit and lowering her body until their breasts touched.

Joan trembled, rocking her hips faster as her legs shook with holding back her orgasm. As she looked into Vera’s eyes, she saw that they were a very dark blue, almost black and she could see what looked like burning coals, but there was a soft glow to them as well. She’d never seen anything like that before, and she’d never seen Vera look so beautiful.

Vera felt her body shaking, the tensing of Joan’s body as she came inside her arms. She loved the feeling of how her inner muscles squeezed and fluttered around her fingers, knowing just how much pleasure she was receiving. But she also felt the orgasm through this connection they had, the pleasure that Joan felt… the love that she felt. So much love in that moment, and she could just grasp the edge of the fear Joan had, and she held her tight.

“My Maker, my wife, my love,” she whispered.

Joan breathed deeply, her hands shaking as she stroked Vera’s back. “That was intense,” she said quietly.

“Yes, but it was needed.” Vera stroked her arms, bending down to kiss her breast.

Joan smiled, breathing softly and stroking Vera’s cheek. She kissed her, now with an increasing urgency as she pushed Vera down onto the bed.

“Vera, I want us to do something we haven’t done in a long time. I want you to address me as Governor, just like you always did years ago.”

“Oh, so you want to play that, do you?” Vera smirked.

“Have I asked you to speak? If you do without my permission, I will be very disappoinTed.”

Vera nodded, raising her brow as Joan slowly got out of bed. “I want you to get dressed in your old uniform and with the skirt, please.”

She watched and smiled as Joan left the room, changing into her old Deputy’s uniform, heels and all. She even decided to wear her hair exactly the way it used to be when she first met Joan. She knew Joan was satisfied with this when she walked out of their bathroom, her eyes widening just a fraction. Her lips curled before they made a straight line, a look of the same cool composure that Joan always held at the prison.

It was odd to see Joan back in the Governor’s uniform and the bun. It had been so long since she’d seen her like this, and she had to admit she missed it. She desperately missed those days at the prison with her, when they were a team.

**_“I miss it too.”_ **

Vera smiled as she heard Joan communicate this to her, the soft fondness there even though her facial expression looked entirely different. But there was a playfulness there too.

Joan looked even taller in her heels, and she pulled on her leather gloves. The same ones that Vera had given to her a few years ago as a gift.

“Sit,” Joan requested softly, and Vera moved to the chair they had in their room, crossing her legs and looking up at her.

Joan caressed her cheek, and Vera closed her eyes at the soft touch, feeling the leather on her skin. Gloved fingertips touched her mouth, sliding the tip of her thumb inside, then slowly slid down her body.

“Do you know how much I miss seeing you in that uniform?” Joan asked softly, kneeling down and opening her blouse, one button at a time.

“Oh, my goodness, Vera you aren’t even wearing a bra,” she teased. “What shall I do with you, hmm?”

She pinched her nipples then, smirking at the sigh that Vera let out. Her hand moved between her skirt, gliding across her inner thigh.

“Do whatever you want, Governor.”

Joan smiled slowly. “Good girl. I was hoping you’d say that.”

Joan slowly slid off her leather gloves and spread Vera’s legs as she lifted her skirt. “No underwear either. You are a naughty little thing aren’t you?”

“I guess so,” Vera whispered.

Joan smirked. “I think we should go into my study.”

“W-what?”

“My study, Vera. Where we can have a good little debriefing together.”

Vera followed her into the clean and neat room. A few paintings dawned the walls, and a desk was near a window.

“Normally, I’d ask you to do this while I’m here, but let me have you wear the crowns.”

“The crowns?”

“You always wanted to be Governor, didn’t you?”

She had never done this before, and she was a little unsure of herself.

“Joan--”

“Sit down at the desk. I have work to do,” she said in a low voice. Vera slowly moved around to the desk, sitting down and looking at the pencils and pens neatly aligned on the desk. Joan smiled and slowly crouched under the desk and Vera gasped as she felt Joan’s soft warm hands spread her legs wider.

She lowered her hands to Joan’s hair, letting the bun loose as she ran her hands through her hair. Joan moaned softly, kissing her inner thighs. She lifted her hips when she felt Joan’s tongue slowly lick her, making her shiver.

Vera moaned, closing her eyes as Joan fucked her with her lips and tongue. She could feel Joan’s pleasure in doing this, and a love and trust from her that made her more at ease. Joan’s tongue stroked inside her, moving up and stroking her clit. She flicked it gently, and Vera pushed back slightly, wanting to see Joan’s face. She stroked her hair, rocking and rolling her hips.

“Joan,” she moaned, and she watched as Joan moved back and her fangs clicked out. She gently scraped her inner thigh with them, before biting her and moaning. She tilted her head back, loving how Joan fed from her. Joan stroked her and slid her fingers inside, slowly moving them in and out as she sucked her blood.

Vera was getting close now, and it was then that she felt she needed to be held by Joan. She needed more than this connection. She needed it to be real, not under the desk. Not as if they were back at Wentworth. Joan retracted her fangs, and slowly stood up and took off her jacket, ripping off Vera’s blouse. She held her face and kissed her hard, breathing faster as she kissed her neck and breasts. Vera caressed her soft curves, digging her nails into her shoulders as Joan moved her against the wall. Joan pressed against her clit, now sliding her fingers inside her again a little harder.

Vera panted, biting her lip as she held onto Joan. She needed her closer, and Joan wrapped one arm around her and held her tight.

“I’m here, I’ve got you,” she whispered against her lips.

“Joan,” she panted, moaning and gasping when Joan pressed her mouth to her neck and her fangs pierced her skin.

Joan rolled her thumb softly and gently over her clit, making Vera tremble. As she kept stroking her clit, she pressed her fingers and curled them deeply inside. Vera felt so much, the pleasure, the sucking of her blood, Joan inside her. Joan was everywhere. She shook and came against her, her legs trembling as her knees started to buckle. Joan quickly retracted her fangs and held her close, slowly lowering them to the floor.

“Vera, you’re so beautiful. I have you, I promise,” she whispered, kissing her face and neck, her lips.

It was then that Vera realized she was crying. She stared up at Joan, and she stroked her hair. “Did I hurt you? I’m sorry, I got--”

“No, you didn’t hurt me. I just--I love you so much,” she said, hugging her tightly. Joan’s eyes softened, kissing her gently as she pulled her onto her lap and held her close. She caressed her face and kissed her lovingly.

“And I will always love you. I’ll always be with you, I promise.”

Vera kissed her, nodding and smiling. “Don’t you ever release me, no matter how stupid I act.”

Joan looked a little startled, then chuckled, pressing her forehead to hers. “I won’t, no matter what.”

They walked hand in hand towards their bed, smiling softly as they undressed each other, and then they slowly and gently made love. Joan kissed her softly, slowly as she held her close. She cupped her face and kissed her, nuzzling her neck as she made love to her. Vera moaned softly, loving how Joan felt in her arms when she had an orgasm. Arms circled around her and held her close, and Vera sighed softly as she pressed her face into Joan’s neck. She could smell her skin and hair, the softness of her body as it relaxed into hers.

Joan stroked her arms, resting her hand on her hip. Vera kissed her softly, listening to Joan’s breathing even out, and it wasn’t often that she would fall asleep before her. This happened only when Joan felt the most safe and relaxed. She smiled and stroked the hair from her eyes, watching her sleep for a little bit longer.

She softly sang, something she sometimes heard Joan do as she was falling asleep. 

_“My love must be a kind of blind love_

_I can't see anyone but you_

_Are the stars out tonight_

_I don't know if it's cloudy or bright_

_I only have eyes for you dear.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I hope that chapter was fun to read! This story isn't quite done yet, but I did want to at least let readers know that things would be okay between them a little earlier on before I get into more of the story. :) I'm sure most people have heard the song at the end that Vera sings, but it's always been one of my favorites, and here is a link for it.
> 
> I Only Have Eyes For You by The Flamingos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MELznWDbtkQ


	5. Chapter 5

This won’t be an official chapter update but more of an update for the progress of the story. I have a lot of things going on in my life right now, and I’m kind of at odds with how this story will end. I’ve been suffering from writers block with it, which sucks.

I’m going to have to put this story on hiatus until I have more time for it and until I figure out what I wanna do. Any other fics I’m writing will also have to be put on hold until I can have more time for them. Please be patient with me and I promise the story will be finished in time, even if it takes me a year. Thank you for all the comments and kudos. 

 

 

 

PS: Happy April Fools! :P I’m sorry to be evil but I had to do this lol. I’m not taking a break. This story will be updated soon, and so will other fanfics I’m currently writing. I couldn’t abandon this! Especially with Pam coming to WWCon in the US!! :D


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this is the REAL chapter update lol. Sorry not sorry about the previous one being an April Fool's joke lol. :p

Vera woke to Joan kissing her, her body softly pressed against hers. Her fingernails raked across her skin, sighing softly as she kissed her tenderly.

“What do you want to do today?” Vera asked.

Joan kissed her her breasts, lingering there before she moved down her stomach. “I think we should stay in bed.”

Vera's breathing quickened as she felt Joan kiss her inner thighs. “I think that sounds good...”

She heard her phone vibrate, pulling it from her nightstand and seeing a text from her friend. Despite so many years later, cell phones were still as popular as ever, just more technologically advanced.

“Is that too important for our conversation?” Joan snapped.

“No, I just... I'm sorry I wasn't expecting a text at this time.”

“Who is it?” Joan asked in a clipped tone.

“It's my friend from the university.”

“And what does she want that's so important at this hour?”

Vera frowned, trying not to be annoyed at Joan's tone.

_**Are we still on for dinner?** _

She showered her phone to Joan who took in a deep breath. “I'm not going to forbid you to go. That was stupid of me. Go ahead and text her back,” she sighed.

_**Yes, we are. Was it tonight?** _

_**That's right! I'm looking forward to it. :)** _

_**Me too. :)** _

_**Are you sure it's okay with your wife?** _

Vera hesitated before she answered. _**She's just very protective, but don't worry about it. She understands it's important to have friends.**_

_**I'd hate to think I'm causing a rift between you two.** _

_**You're not. Please don't think that. She can just be very... complicated.** _

_**I'm sorry, Vera. You know if she'd like to meet me, she can join us for dinner.** _

“Joan, she's suggesting that you join us for dinner. Would you like to meet her? She's very nice, and I think you'd like her.”

“I suppose I could join you both,” she said reluctantly.

“There's nothing to worry about, I promise.”

_**That sounds wonderful. We'll join you tomorrow night. :)** _

_**I'm looking forward to it. Until then, Vera.** _

Vera smiled at her. “Thank you for trying.”

Joan sighed and kissed her stomach. “Your happiness is important to me... now, where were we?”

“I'm not sure I remember,” Vera giggled.

Joan smiled, spreading her legs wider. “Let me remind you.”

 

* * *

 

Vera and Joan walked into the restaurant, a small one that had delicious seafood from what Vera could remember. She could feel Joan's barely hidden irritation, but one wouldn't know based on her facial expression. She was nothing but calm and composed, ever the polite one. Vera spotted her friend, who waved at them from the table. Smiling she quickly came over and gave her a hug, turning to introduce Joan.

“So good to see you! Danielle, I'd like you to meet my wife Joan.”

“Pleasure to finally meet you,” she said warmly.

Joan lifted her lips in a small smile. “Likewise.”

Joan was fairly quiet throughout their meal, occasionally asking questions but mainly observing. Danielle often tried to engage her in conversation, and Joan would reply when needed, and Vera tried not roll her eyes for making a slightly sarcastic comment here and there. Joan was perfect at appearing friendly while still being condescending.

“If you excuse me, I just need to just the restroom,” Danielle said, quickly getting up.

“I have to go too,” Vera said, feeling quite embarrassed as she walked into the restroom. After they were finished, she stopped Danielle by the door before she went back to their table.

“I'm so sorry, she's not always like this,” Vera said quietly.

“It's all right, Vera. I don't have to be liked by everyone. It's a pity though because you're such a kind woman, and you're both complete opposites.”

Vera frowned. “Joan doesn't warm up to people easily. I was hoping tonight would be a little easier, but I guess I was wrong.”

Danielle stared at Joan, and then slowly turned to Vera. “Are you happy with her?”

“Yes, of course, I love her.”

“Love and happiness are not one in the same. You can love someone but still not be happy. With the way you've spoken about her, she sounds rather... emotionally abusive.”

“She really isn't... I mean, she can be very protective but she--”

“Protective can be another word for possessive, and that is not healthy at all.”

Vera swallowed, knowing that was partially true but no one could understand Joan the way she did.

Danielle stepped closer to her, lifting her hand up to caress her cheek. Vera held her breath, surprised suddenly at the soft touch. “You deserve so much more than that,” she whispered.

“Danielle, I--”

She stroked a hair behind her ear, looking into Vera's eyes. “We've grown close in the last few months. Do you trust me?”

“Y-yes, but why are--”

“And if I thought you were being mistreated, you'd believe me right?”

“Where are you going with this?”

Danielle smiled gently. “I care about you, Vera. I don't want you to lose yourself or worse... get hurt.”

“She would never hurt me.”

“Are you sure?”

Vera shook her head, taking a step back to create some distance. “I know my wife.”

“Sometimes love is blind. Maybe you just need something to remind you of what else is out there,” she whispered, cupping her cheek and pressing her lips to hers.

Vera froze, feeling her soft lips against hers. She'd never kissed anyone since she was with Joan, and definitely not another woman. Danielle kept kissing her until Vera finally kissed her back. But this wasn't Joan, and she didn't want this woman to be kissing her. Her feelings of shock turned into disgust, and that's when she began to feel Joan's hurt and anger, and it was overwhelming. She quickly pushed Danielle away.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

“I thought—I thought this was what you wanted. At least I hoped it was.”

“I never wanted that with you! I love my wife!”

Vera saw Joan quickly leave the restaurant. She followed her out, almost in a run as she stepped out into the warm night air.

“Joan, come back!”

Joan turned around, and Vera shrank a little at the look on her face. She'd never seen her so angry before.

“I told you this is why I don't trust others! I knew something was off about her. Even before you told me about her, I just had a feeling. Did you enjoy that kiss?”

“No! Joan, she kissed me! I didn't want her to kiss me.”

“I didn't see you pulling away,” she hissed.

“I was a little shocked... I just reacted but I didn't want her to. Please, you had to know what I was feeling then.”

Joan breathed deeply, closing her eyes as she lifted her hand to her forehead. “I know... I know you didn't want to. But it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Do you know what it's like to watch your wife be kissed by another woman? To watch her even think about touching what's mine?”

“I told you I'm not your property, Joan,” she said coolly.

Joan's eyes were sad as she looked at her. “I know you're not, but you're my wife and I just never want anyone else to be with you, even if she kissed you first.”

Vera's expression softened, and she walked over to Joan and held her hand. “I'm sorry you had to see that. You were right, Joan. Her intentions weren't good. She—she wanted more than just friendship. I should have listened to you.”

“Vera!”

She turned around to see Danielle, and she held onto Joan as she felt overwhelming anger coming from the older woman.

“Danielle, you need to go.”

“Vera, do you really want me to go?”

Joan's lips twitched. “You're not wanted here. You should go before I do something I regret.”

“Oh, so you'd only regret this situation?”

Joan lifted her brow. “What is that supposed to mean?” She asked impatiently.

Danielle slowly walked over. “You're a vampire. I'm sure there are many things you've regret in your life.”

“Danielle, what does that have to do with anything?” Vera asked.

Danielle stared at them, not saying a word for a few minutes. Vera was growing inpatient and then her heart stopped as Danielle pulled out a gun from her purse.

“What are you doing?”

“I've been watching you both for a very long time,” she said softly. “I befriended you, Vera. You were easy because of how naive you are, and not to mention stupid. Did you really think I was attracted to you?” She laughed.

“Put the gun down,” Joan ordered, tensing as she pulled Vera against her.

“It's funny how you're both so afraid of this little thing. Not so powerful now, are you?”

“What do you want?” Joan asked quietly.

Danielle stared at them coldly. “All he was doing was sending a message to you. No one wants any of you here. To think that some even volunteer to give you their blood. It's sick. It's you who deserved to die. All of you. I'm so tired of seeing all of you... you... fucking parasites around me! We never wanted you to be among us. You're evil, and unnatural.”

Joan narrowed her eyes. “I wouldn't be so quick to say that we're the evil ones. I know your kind. I used to work with many of your type back when I was the Governor of a prison...”

“No, it's you who is on trial here. You killed my husband.”

“Yes, and I enjoyed it. That's what happens when anyone threatens my wife. He didn't deserve to live after that.”

“You're fucking evil! You--you freak!”

Joan almost smiled because she'd heard this before so many times in the past, but now it was getting old. “Give me something newer than that. At least something not as predictable in your hatred. Or are you really that pathetically simple minded?”

It was as if time slowed down, and it took her a few seconds to register that Vera was screaming. It was then that she remembered the sound of the gun... and she breathed as she looked down, seeing blood on her chest.

“The bullets are silver,” Danielle said. “I know how weak you are to silver.”

Joan blinked, staggering as she landed on her knees. There was so much pain and she wheezed, looking up into Vera's eyes.

“Vera... the bullet... my heart...” She rasped, clutching her chest.

_My chest is burning... I'm going to die._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *breathes* Okay, so I hope that was enjoyable lol. Please don't kill me... ^_^;;


	7. Chapter 7

Nothing had prepared Vera for this. She watched as Joan gasped, choking as she grasped her chest and she rushed forward and gently moved Joan to rest her head in her lap. She cradled her as she held her close.

“Vera... you have to go,” she gasped.

“No! I'm not leaving you,” she sobbed.

“As your Maker...”

“No, you're not going to order me to leave!”

Joan smiled weakly. “You're so stubborn...”

Tears slipped down Vera's cheeks and she tried to put pressure on the wound.

“It's no use, Vera... it struck my heart.”

“There must be something we can do,” she cried.

Joan lifted her hand and brushed her cheek. “I love you...”

“I love you too,” she whispered. Joan struggled to breathe, and Vera held her close.

A lifetime without Joan flashed before her eyes, and she felt like her heart was being ripped in two.

“Please don't leave me,” she sobbed.

_I'm too weak to speak... so tired._

_You said you'd never leave me._

_I'm sorry..._

Vera's eyes widened as Joan's body went limp in her arms and she sobbed into her neck, kissing her lips gently. She stared at Danielle and imagined her dying a very slow death. But she didn't feel she had the energy for that... since it wouldn't matter now. Nothing mattered anymore.

_I don't want to live without Joan._

“Just kill me,” she pleaded.

“I'm surprised you don't want to kill me,” Danielle said softly.

“Oh, I do... but it wouldn't change anything. Did this bring back your husband?” She asked angrily.

“No, but it sure felt good to see that bitch die.”

Vera felt defeated, staring again at Joan. She had trouble seeing because she was crying so much. She slowly stood up and walked over to Danielle, grabbing the gun and pointing it at her chest.

“Just kill me. It's what you want.”

_I'd rather follow you in death than be without you._

Danielle's eyes widened, and she pushed the barrel of the gun harder into Vera's chest.

“I didn't think you'd make it this easy for me, but as you wish.”

Vera closed her eyes, wanting it to be over as soon as possible.

“What the hell is going on here?!”

Vera recognized that voice, but she didn't care. “Do it,” she whispered to Danielle.

Vera heard running footsteps, and gasped as Danielle was knocked to the ground. Vera blinked when she realized that it was Aaron. He growled, using his strength to wrestle the gun away from her. Her eyes widened when he bent the gun in half.

“Get out of here before I kill you!”

Danielle stood up slowly. “There's more of us. Even if you kill me... it wouldn't be the end of it, only the beginning.”

Aaron's eyes were full of rage, completely black as he grabbed her by the throat, squeezing hard as he lifted her body into the air. Vera had only seen him like this once, and she'd be lying if it didn't frighten her a little.

“You think that I'm afraid of you? I've killed and I've enjoyed it. Many of my victims were innocent. It didn't matter to me at that time so many years ago, but I changed. I swore to never harm innocent people again, but you are far from innocent.”

“You just want us all dead. That's all you want!”

“No, what I want is to live peacefully, but you make that very difficult right now. I will kill you and anyone else if I have to.”

“It doesn't matter, Aaron,” Vera said, crouching down next to Joan. She held her close, kissing her face gently. “It doesn't matter.”

Aaron looked back at Joan and Vera, his eyes tearing up as he squeezed Danielle's throat tighter, strangling her. “She was part of me,” he said sadly, dropping her dead body to the ground.

“I'm so sorry,” Vera sobbed, caressing Joan's face. “It's my fault. It's all my fault.”

Aaron quickly moved to them, pushing Vera out of the way.

“What are you doing?”

“We don't have much time.”

“What do you mean?!”

“I won't let her die!”

“But she already--”

“Her heart is strong. I just need to remove the bullet.”

“Aaron...”

“I've done it before! If I can just heal her heart,” he whispered, working feverishly now to remove the bullet. He bit into his arm, and turned to Vera. “She'll need your blood too.”

“Do you really think this can work?”

“I hope so. What else do we have to lose?”

She bit into her arm, watching as their blood melded to her heart. Aaron bit his other wrist and pressed it against Joan's mouth. “Drink... please drink,” he whispered.

“Please, Joan,” Vera whispered. Aaron looked into her eyes and nodded. Vera bit her other wrist, doing the same as Aaron and pressing it to Joan's mouth.

Vera whispered against her ear. “Come back to me... I love you.”

 

* * *

 

Joan opened her eyes, but she wasn't sure where she was. It was so bright, a white light that made her close her eyes quickly. When she opened them again, she was at a beach. It looked familiar to her, yet different. No one was around, and this confused her. Usually there were others weren't there? But it was peaceful here, and she hadn't felt such a feeling in a very long time.

“I didn't expect to see you here so soon,” a soft voice said, and Joan's heart stopped when she recognized that voice. She slowly turned her head to see Jianna. She looked young, and beautiful. So different than the last time she saw her so many years ago. She smiled gently at Joan, and beside her was Shayne as a young man. He smiled at her as well, holding out his arms to her. She smiled and hugged him, and she held her breath as Jianna cupped her face and kissed her cheek.

“You took such good care of my son,” she said, and Joan shook her head.

“Not as much as I should have...”

Shayne wrapped his arms around their waists. “I have the ones I love most here, and just wait until you see all of this! It's so beautiful, Aunty. You can't even imagine how beautiful this world is. This is only part of it.”

Joan smiled at him. “I'm so happy you're both here with me. But... there is one I'm still waiting for. Where's Vera?”

Jianna smiled sadly. “I'm sorry, Joan, but she can't come yet. But it won't be too much longer. At least it won't feel very long.”

“I don't want to wait for her,” she whispered.

Jianna nodded slowly. “I know... and it's not your time to go, but you do have a choice. You can stay here with us, or go back.”

“I don't want to have to make that choice,” Joan cried. “I want all of you here. Please don't make me choose.”

Shayne squeezed her hand and pulled her in for a hug. “I know how much you love us, and I know how much you love Vera. Go to her, Aunty and we'll be waiting. We'll be waiting for both of you whenever your time comes.”

“ _Come back to me... I love you.”_   Joan's eyes closed as she heard Vera's voice speaking to her, and she wasn't sure from where, but it was as if she was right next to her.

Joan squeezed him tightly, then turned to Jianna and kissed her cheek tenderly. “Please forgive me... I have to go back.”

Jianna nodded. “I know. There is nothing to forgive. We'll always be here,” she said, and hugged Joan close to her.

“I'm sorry,” she whispered, looking into her eyes.

“Don't be sorry. Go back to Vera. She's waiting for you,” she whispered back.

Shayne hugged her again, cupping her face. “I love you, and tell Vera I love her too. Goodbye for now,” he said, smiling gently.

She smiled back, tears rolling freely down her cheeks as she turned away from them. She felt her body becoming warmer as she thought of Vera, now hearing her voice again.

“ _Joan!”_  

 

* * *

 

Joan gasped, choking as she opened her eyes. Her chest felt tight, and she wasn't sure why. She stared up at Aaron, then her eyes turned to Vera's.

_Why are they crying?_

She felt Vera's emotions which were full of grief, shock, and happiness. She reached up to cup her cheek, staring into her beautiful blue eyes. 

“Vera?”

“Yes, it's me,” she said, smiling down at her and kissing her palm.

“You weren't there... I couldn't go with them without you,” she whispered sadly.

Vera caressed her cheek. “Don't worry, I'm right here. I'll always be here,” she said, kissing her gently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter didn't exactly go in the direction I originally planned. I had thought about doing this type of scenario before, but kept saying no to it. I kept trying to write different outcomes and scenarios for how this could go, and this one ended up feeling the most right to do. I hope everyone enjoyed that chapter, even if it was a bit of a roller coaster emotionally.
> 
> Music I listened to for inspiration for writing this was She Remembers by Max Richter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qg4SgNYeCgU 
> 
> And also a track of instrumental emotional music I found: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIJAIFtQJWc


	8. Chapter 8

Joan laid in bed, wincing at the pain that still lingered in her chest. She wasn't sure if it was still because of the bullet. The physical injury was already healing, but she couldn't help but feel something else. She looked over to the side of the bed, feeling the absence of her wife greatly. She had been overwhelmed by Vera's feelings, and even Aaron's display of emotion as he hugged her gently.

Joan struggled to remember everything. She knew she'd experienced something since Vera told her how she spoke when she came back to them.

“ _I couldn't go with them without you.”_

She closed her eyes, trying to remember what it was she was talking about. It was hard to identify what she was feeling, and she rolled over to the pillow where Vera had been. Her scent was still there, a comfort to her during this night. Missing Vera then made her get out of bed, slipping on a thin robe as she walked out of their bedroom. Except Vera was nowhere to be seen. Joan peered through their window, seeing Vera sitting on the bench swing in their backyard. Her hair was softly blowing in the breeze, and Joan smiled tenderly.

_She looks so beautiful._

It was times like this Joan knew that her wife had a lot on her mind, which was no surprise considering everything recently. She carefully opened the door so not to startle Vera, and her blue eyes turned towards her.

“Joan,” she said softly. She smiled at her, standing up to hug her. Joan closed her eyes as she felt Vera's arms gently encircle her back.

“What are you doing out here?”

“I could ask the same. You should be resting.”

Joan took her hand and sat down with her on the swing. She gently pushed off with her feet, holding Vera close to her. She breathed softly, feeling the pain in her chest a little but ignored it. Kissing Vera's forehead, she sensed Vera's unease and cupped her cheek.

“Vera,” she whispered. “Tell me what you're thinking.”

“It doesn't matter now. You're okay, Joan. We're both okay.”

Joan looked into her eyes, knowing that Vera was far from okay. “You watched me die, my love. We need to talk about this.”

“I don't want to talk about it.”

Joan frowned. “We just spoke about how communication is important before all of this. Please don't go back on it now.”

Vera didn't speak for several minutes. Joan waited, and just when she was starting to grow impatient, she heard Vera take a deep breath.

“You were never supposed to die.”

Joan held her hand and squeezed it, waiting for her to continue. Vera looked straight ahead, but she could see the tear that rolled down her cheek. “I thought I lost you,” she cried, looking up at her.

Joan's throat tightened, her heart heavy as she held Vera close. “I thought you were gone until Aaron...”

“Aaron was very lucky to bring me back. That's not something that's so easily done. It's very rare actually.”

Vera nodded. “I was shocked, but so happy.”

“There is something else,” Joan said quietly.

“What?”

“Aaron told me that he saw you with Danielle, making her point the gun at you. Vera, why would you want to kill yourself?”

“I can't believe he told you that!”

“I'm glad he did, but it concerns me.”

“Why does it concern you? I didn't want to live without you. You brought me into this world. You're my Maker, and the last thing I wanted to do was be without you.”

Joan remembered how she felt when she thought she'd lost Vera when she turned her, but this was because she had no one else. Vera was so lovable. Even if she had died, she would have found another.

“I don't understand. I know you would have grieved but that doesn't mean you couldn't be happy later in your life. I wouldn't want you to be unhappy.”

“I find this ironic considering this all started with how jealous you were,” Vera mumbled.

“Well, of course I wouldn't want you happy without me while I'm still here with you. But I'm not used to...”

“Not used to what?”

Joan searched for the right words to describe how she felt, and then she felt a sadness within her that she didn't expect. “I'm not used to others grieving over me. I never thought I'd be missed,” she said quietly.

“I'm not any other person, baby. I'm your wife, and I love you. I'd never be able to forget you. I wouldn't want to be with anyone else after, do you understand?”

Joan pressed her forehead to hers, kissing her gently. “Yes, I do.”

“And it sounds like wherever you were, you didn't want to be without me either.”

Joan nodded, and there was a flicker of something out of the corner of her eye. She looked up and saw two stars that were shining more brightly than before. She smiled sadly as she remembered, knowing in some way that they were watching over them.

“I didn't, even though I could have stayed. I wanted to stay, and it was so hard to leave, but I heard you calling to me. I knew I had to come back to you.”

“I'm so glad you did,” Vera said, her lips trembling. Joan held her tightly in her arms, kissing her lips lovingly.

“They knew I had to go,” she whispered.

“Jianna?” Vera asked.

Joan nodded. “And Shayne.”

Vera's breath hitched. “I'm so sorry. I know how much they mean to you.”

Joan stroked her cheek. “I love them, but Vera you are the one I want to spend eternity with, no matter where that is,” she said, kissing her again.

Vera kissed her back, pushing her gently onto the grass. Joan sighed softly as Vera kissed her neck. “As much as I love you, I don't love you enough to make love out here.”

Vera snorted. “Way to kill the mood.”

Joan smiled, standing up gracefully and pulling Vera to her feet. “You really think it would be killed that easily? You really don't have good faith in my skills, Vera.”

“What skills?”

Joan gasped in mock outrage, moving around to slap her ass, but Vera was too quick for her then. Joan lifted her brow. “Oh, you want to play it like that, do you?”

She quickly grabbed Vera and hoisted her over her shoulder, spanking her ass as she carried her up the stairs.

“Put me down, Joan!”

“No, I think you have a few things to learn after that comment.”

Vera giggled, making Joan smile mischievously at her as she laid her onto the bed. She took off her robe, and opened Vera's. She moaned as she pressed her naked body to hers, kissing her deeply. She felt Vera's feelings of arousal and love as she trailed her lips across her body. She was soft and warm, and she worshipped her, loving the feeling of Vera's fingers running through her hair.

She kissed her hips and thighs, moving back up to kiss her mouth. Vera panted, sitting up as she held Joan. Vera pushed her back onto the bed and spread her legs wide.

Joan breathed heavily and gasped when Vera sank her fangs into her throat. She moaned, feeling her pleasure at the same time as she sucked her blood. Vera's hand trailed down to pinch her nipple, making her hiss in response. The slight pain and pleasure made her very wet, something that Vera knew very well.

Joan pushed into Vera's hand which now caressed and rubbed her, needing to feel more pressure against her clit. Vera stroked her clit with her fingertips, slowly circling it as she sucked harder at her throat. She pulled back and looked into her eyes, and Joan shivered as she firmly thrust her fingers inside her. Lifting her hips, she began to rock them back and forth. Vera curled her fingers and Joan whimpered. “Faster, Vera,” she rasped.

She pushed against her hand, moaning as Vera began to pump her fingers a little faster. She looked at Vera's throat and she reached up and grabbed her neck, biting into it. Vera moaned, and Joan was overwhelmed by the feelings of pleasure.

She began to tremble, and knew she was close. She loved the taste of Vera, and let go to kiss her hard. She came then as Vera circled her clit, shaking in her arms. She stared into Vera's eyes, trying to catch her breath. The younger woman kissed her lovingly, stroking her hair. Joan smiled at her, but was surprised as Vera began to kiss down her body. She sucked and bit her nipples gently, and Joan threw her head back.

“Vera, let me make love to you,” she groaned.

“No, you can wait,” she said firmly.

Joan watched her as she sucked her breast into her mouth, feeling her nipples harden even more.

“You've always had beautiful breasts,” Vera whispered, kissing them and sucking them until there was a mark on each breast.

“I see I'm not the only possessive one,” Joan chuckled.

“No, you're mine too. I told you this earlier. You're just as much mine as I am yours. You need to remember that.”

Joan nodded, her head falling back onto the pillow as Vera kissed her stomach. It quivered under her touch, and she shivered at the feeling of her soft lips at her inner thighs. “Vera, please...”

Vera gently bit her thigh, then kissed her between her legs, making her twitch. “You're sensitive.”

“Yes, which is why I wanted to make love to you--”

“You frequently make me have multiple orgasms after, but you very rarely allow me to do the same to you. I think it’s time we changed that.” Vera spread her legs wider, kissing her gently and making her sigh in pleasure. “I know you don't always like losing control like that. But you're safe, Joan. Please allow me to do this for you.”

Despite the many years they'd been married, it was still something that Joan was a little self conscious about. For some reason it made her feel a little selfish. She loved to watch Vera orgasm multiple times, and she loved being in control, but Vera was right. She rarely let her wife give her the same treatment. And she so wanted that right now. She wanted nothing more than to let go and come for her.

Joan nodded, and Vera licked her softly. She knew she was very wet and moaned as Vera kissed and explored her.

“Just relax and let me take care of you,” Vera said softly. Words she often said to Vera, and she slowly relaxed her body. Vera kissed her tenderly and slid her tongue inside her. She moved with her, squeezing her tongue and panting.

Vera caressed her body, and she felt goosebumps on her skin as she licked and teased her. Her clit throbbed with need, shivering now as Vera licked her and sucked on her clit. Her tongue kept gently circling her, and Joan was now rocking her hips faster. She arched her back, and Vera held her hips down.

Joan legs shook, and Vera licked her a little faster. “Come for me.”

Joan looked down between her legs, seeing Vera staring up at her. She moaned as she watched her mouth and tongue on her.

“Vera,” she whispered, and then she cried out as she came then. Her body was shaking, and she felt all the pleasure of her orgasm and Vera's as well. Vera was gently licking her, and she gently pushed her head away, but not before Vera kissed her there.

Vera kissed her stomach and breasts gently, moving back up to take her in her arms. Joan was completely limp as she held her. She kissed Vera's neck and shoulders, turning her over and facing her.

“I love you, and thank you,” she whispered, kissing her.

Vera smiled at her, and she moaned into her mouth as she tasted herself on her lips. She held Vera close and moved her thigh onto her hip. Vera sighed and shivered, pressing against her. She was so wet and Joan reached down to stroke her.

“Mmm, I can feel how wet and needy you are after that. You need me to make you come, don't you?” She caressed her body, her fingernails raking her skin.

“Yes, I need to come,” she moaned. Joan reached down to squeeze her ass, pulling her closer to her. Vera began to grind against her, and she thrust her fingers slowly inside her. Her thumb reaching up to gently circle her clit.

Staring into her eyes, she held Vera close as she slowly and deeply thrust into her. Her fingers curled as she touched her g-spot. Vera kissed her neck, whimpering as she began to rock against her fingers.

Joan gently bit her neck, kissing her and looking into her eyes. “Look at me,” she ordered. Vera raised her head. “I want to watch you,” she said softly.

Vera moaned as she held her gaze, loving the look of love and desire in her eyes. Joan cupped her face, and circled her clit. Vera rocked and rolled her hips, and Joan held her close. She kissed her and felt it then, the squeezing of her fingers and Vera tensing and shaking in her arms. She moaned with her, kissing her passionately as she climaxed.

Vera panted, and Joan kissed her more gently, bringing her back down from it as she gently and lovingly stroked her body. Vera blinked softly, her body slowly relaxing.

As she looked into Joan's eyes, she had a dreamy expression on her face and Joan thought she looked very soft and beautiful. She stroked her hair and kissed her again.

“This isn't some dream is it? Where you died and I died with you? You're really here?” She asked quietly.

Joan held her close, and pressed Vera's head against her chest. “Do you feel that? My heartbeat. I'm very much alive, and so are you.”

She smiled as Vera relaxed, her eyes growing heavy as she fell asleep to the sound of her heartbeat. She often fell asleep listening to her heart, and it was something that Joan always found very endearing. She kissed her forehead and closed her eyes.

 

* * *

 

**Six months later...**

 

Joan smiled when Vera came into the kitchen, sipping a cup of tea. The last few months had been easier between them. Despite the nightmares they both had of that night, Joan felt at peace with her life, and she and Vera were planning on renewing their vows in a few months. She only wished she'd done it sooner.

She grabbed Vera and kissed her, slowly taking her into her arms and spinning her around. She danced a little with her, making Vera giggle.

“You're in a good mood,” Vera said, smiling.

Joan kissed her sweetly. “I am. We're going to be renewing our vows soon and I couldn't be happier. However, there's something else I want to ask you.”

Vera looked a little nervous, and Joan rolled her eyes. “Why do you always look so worried when I ask you something like that?”

“I don't know but you feel a little nervous so I can't help but wonder why.”

Joan blushed a little, annoyed that Vera could feel that. “Well, I'm not sure how you'll feel about this but it's something I want us to discuss and think about.”

“You want to leave Australia don't you?”

Joan blinked. “What? No, no,” she chuckled. “I don't want to leave Australia. I've grown accustomed to our life here. What I wanted to ask is something that's been on my mind for the last few months... and if I'm quite honest, it's something that's also been on my mind off and on for the last few years.”

Vera stared up at her curiously. Joan took her hand and sat down with her on the couch. “Vera, how would you feel if we were to adopt a child?”

Vera stared at her, and Joan felt like maybe this was a horrible thing to ask at this time, and that maybe she shouldn't have asked this at all.

“We don't have to... it was just a thought. Forget I even asked,” Joan stammered, moving to stand up, but Vera grabbed her arm.

“Are you serious?”

Joan nodded, sitting down again. “Yes, I never thought I'd want a child, but the more I think about it... the more I want one with you. As I've watched the children in our family grow up, I've had a yearning that I couldn't explain. And I feel that it would make up for what I missed with Shayne growing up,” she said quietly.

“Raising a child is a big step, Joan. And that's not even including the complication of us being vampires. Adopting a human child wouldn't exactly be easy.”

“I know it won't be easy, but it's something I've thought a great deal about. I understand if you don't feel the same way, and I'm okay with that. But if you'd want to have a child together...”

Vera squeezed her hand. “I've always wondered what it would be like to have a child with you, especially when you're around other children. I remember the look in your eyes the first day you held Amelia.”

Joan smiled gently at the memory. “Yes, and she'll always be very special in that way, being Shayne's first child.”

Vera nodded, leaning over to kiss her. “Let's do this together.”

“Are you sure?” Joan asked seriously.

“Yes, I want this with you too. I want us to have a family. I mean, we're already a family... but...”

Joan wrapped her arms around her. “But we can have an even bigger family... and more love to give,” she said, smiling at her. They hugged tightly for a few minutes, kissing lovingly until Vera pulled back.

“I want that with you,” Vera said. “I think you'd be a wonderful Mum.”

Joan blushed. “Thank you, I think you will be too. And I think I'd want to find a child that has the same color as your eyes.”

Vera had a soft look. “I'd want one with the same hair color as you.”

Joan smiled, imagining them taking a little girl or boy to school with dark hair and blue eyes. “I know many things are going to change for us, Vera, but I want you to know that I love you so very much and I can't wait to share this with you.”

Vera kissed her. “Neither can I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter for this story, and as of right now I'm done writing for this series. I feel the story for them is more complete, and that I'm able to get it out of my system. I hope you enjoyed it and thank you for reading. <3


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